at that moment, a future was being charted for Mia Farrow, Elizabeth Taylor, and Liza Minnelli.
      Just to contemplate that list of facts was head crushing, but it was the subject of math that posed a main problem for Helen and me. I hopefully asked, “It’s quite easy to do the required figuring by computer, isn’t it?”
Lynne shook her head. “No,” she said. “Computers aren’t yet accurate enough.”
      “Hurray!” exclaimed Helen. “Any time I hear of a computer failing, I feel better about the twentieth century.”
      “But what about slot machines that give instant readings at airports and railroad stations? don’t they use computers?”
      “They do indeed,” said Lynne scornfully, “and there’s the rub. There’s no such thing as Instant destiny. My students have to work everything out by the sweat of their own brains.”
      That was what turned Helen and me off following astrology any further. But at the same time it seemed possible that it might supply proof to an idea I’d had for years and never dared mention: that the Wise Men from the East who traveled to the Christ child were actually astrologers. I asked Lynne about this and she answered, “Of course they were! Naturally.” Feeling that she might be prejudiced, I didn’t yet quite believe I’d stumbled onto a truth. But a day or two later Helen called up from Nyack in a state of excitement. She had just come from Mass and wanted to read me from the Sunday message. “Listen to this! ‘during the reign of King Herod, astrologers from the East arrived… Herod called the astrologers aside and found out from them the exact time of the star’s appearance. Astrology is backed up by the Catholic Church itself, through the gospel according to St. Matthew.
      Lynne read us some brief descriptions of our own personalities from her pamphlet on Sun Signs. Helen’s hit her right on the button. And, in case I may do her an injustice during this reportage, here is the astrological low-down on Helen Hayes.
BORN October 10th LIBRA: You try to balance life… see both sides of every story… strive for the beautiful… peace, justice, harmony, love. Understanding and companionship are cravings that must be satisfied. You need love… beautiful love… not lust. [This rather threw me off, considering the many times I’ve caught Helen lusting for chocolate éclairs or an ice-cream cone.] You give in to people… situations. You can’t say “no.” [This is correct. Helen will gleefully attend a social event that c
ould only be pulled off by a sadist.]
      On the subject of my birth, Lynne commented that its sign covers both Shakespeare and Hitler and she read as follows:
BORN A
pril 26th TAURUS: You like to own… possess… hold on… determined in every way not to give up. Persistence is yours. “That’s really more like Hitler,” I observed. Lynne continued: Often you are so quiet that you shut yourself in and no one knows what happened to you. “That explains why so little is known about Shakespeare,” I protested. “But I’d like to find out something that’s more me.” Smiling, Lynne read on: Taurus has its obstinate side. don’t be so stubborn!
      I accepted this diagnosis, and we then went on to examine Lynne’s framed collection of original Tarot cards that date back to medieval times. We failed to understand much of the information Lynne gave us on that subject, but Helen did copy the prayer which hung at the front of the classroom.

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